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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Himitsu Early Works Collection, Disassociation Fugue, SEVEN Seven seven / Mechanical Decomposition, and SCI FI HORROR SHIT SHOW.
1. |
Disassociation Fugue
05:38
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Fragments of myself are talking to me
Couldn't tell you what I think because I
don't know who I am
Just want to die because my mind is
already dead.
You can't save me from this
inevitable disintegration of my mind.
(My fears possess me and I dont remember anything...)
We all have to go sometime.
Thought I had a soul but I am empty, I am epmty.
Thought I had a heart but there's no feeling, there's no feeling.
The truth is I am never alone,
and I don't want to be.
I'm afraid of myself, but I'm afraid without me.
Confusion hurts like nothing else
I can't tell what's real or what's a dream
anymore.
I see things that no one else sees
but they would never believe me.
It's just a bunch of harmless thoughts.
If I told anyone they'd just put me in a cage.
But I WANT to be free, and I WANT to be sane, and I WANT to be happy.
But...that...conflicts with my true desires.
I have to run far away, start again, forget everything that I knew,
be like a child again.
Thought I had a soul but I am empty, I am epmty.
Thought I had a heart but there's no feeling, there's no feeling.
The truth is I am never alone,
and I don't want to be.
I can't tell the difference between you and myself.
Am I going crazy?
I want to go crazy because it's much easier than trying to appear normal.
I'm NOT 'FINE'.
So disoriented
Wanna fucking hide from this...
GO AWAY.
...I cannot hide from this other me.
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2. |
-1st face-
01:04
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3. |
Anxiety
02:15
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There's nothing left for me
When I look at you.
When I look at myself
I can only feel like something's going to go wrong.
I think everything you say is a lie,
I when I go home I think you're there
when you're not.
Everyone is out to get me,
upset, hating me,
and acting like I'm their enemy for some
unjust reason.
Nobody would give a shit if I were dying.
I can feel them judging me.
They just want something back,
no matter how kindly they're behaving.
No such thing as love,
fear is the truth.
My only real friends are in my head,
but they could turn on me, too.
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4. |
Fibromyalgia
03:52
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Electric shock of pain throughout my entire body
No reason I should feel this way,
but it's here to stay.
First it was confusing...thinking I'm experiencing some sort of divine punishment.
Then it was annoying, looking for answers that I could never find.
I tried everything, I asked everyone.
They tried to tell me that I'm crazy.
They tried to tell me that I'm lying.
They tried to tell me that I'm lazy,
because THEY didn't want to try.
It made me see how the world really was-
nobody wants to help you if it isn't worth THEIR time.
Humans are selfish in nature.
They told me it was my fault, and I'm just dead weight.
It made me see that I'm on my own.
So even though though the tears keep flowing,
my body stops moving,
and I can't think through the headache,
I thank this pain,
I embrace this pain,
For showing me the truth.
For reminding me of the truth.
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5. |
-2nd face-
01:04
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6. |
Depression
04:40
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If I could be happy
If I could find any reason to smile..
What am I doing here? No one cares.
Nobody wants me around unless I give them something.
What's the point of getting out of bed?
Everyone is fake...
I finally find the will to go outside
by clinging to some arbitrary reason
or maybe I'm just motivated by my fears
Everywhere I look around me...
Why are they so happy?
What is so pleasant?
Why would you want to be
a part of the world like a ghost?
Unappreciated and forgotten...
can't help the way you are, being your own worst enemy
unintentionally.
These other people,
they have the privilege to smile.
But unless I just delude myself,
I don't have a reason like them.
Mistrust...fear...discomfort
and the burning of tears that can't come out.
Maybe I just have trouble accepting that happiness is misery.
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7. |
monster
03:37
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You always love the victims when they behave the way you want them to...the perfect damsels in distress for you to feed your hero complex.
But you can't seem to fathom
maybe the villain is a victim too.
There's nowhere to reach out
Because everyone who lends a hand is hiding a knife in the other.
Somebody save me...
I shout to the sky because there is no one to listen to me.
Please help me,
I'm just as afraid as you.
Why do you value the life of another more than mine?
How can you decide that mine's a greater crime?
Why can you try so hard to fix them but not me?
If I speak my mind, I'll be condemned
If you think I'm a monster, take a second and realize
that I think the same thing of you.
I look around and I want to destroy,
before they hurt me.
Please help me...
I'm just as afraid as you
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8. |
-3rd face-
01:10
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9. |
PTSD
03:06
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It's in your mind, just like a dream
Take a deep breathe and try to breathe,
It's in your mind, just like a dream
Take a deep breathe and try to breathe,
LIES!
This whole world is made up of lies!
I can't trust these selfish people,
or their facades of compassion.
We are all just creatures of instinct
with over-inflated egos.
I can't forget what the past has taught me,
in fact, I can't forget the past.
You make me sick, I want to disappear.
I'm fading away, I can't feel myself.
My body is shivering, I can't hear...
I can't see...
[scream]
I don't know what reality is,
I just know how it feels to me.
I don't know where I am anymore,
but I want to run away.
I WANT TO RUN AWAY!
..from all the lies.
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10. |
End Roll
05:38
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Enola Reven
Avant-garde electronic rock + visual art
Vocals + everything else: HIMITSU
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